


Vergil's worst nightmare

by hushsee



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Crack, Don’t copy to another site, Gen, i am so sorry vergil i have such mixed feelings right now, jars are evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 08:54:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19664032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hushsee/pseuds/hushsee
Summary: Vergil is going against his worst enemy yet and he is not going to give up without a fight.





	Vergil's worst nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> I died while writing this. Thank you to elmo [ for the idea](https://twitter.com/nikiforcvs/status/1146986845089091584) (dying of laughter in my head, but also know the true pain)

Vergil huffed and glared down on what he had to say was his biggest enemy. An enemy that is much worse than any demons he had fought and defeated. It is an enemy that is on the same level as him and Dante as much as he regretted to say it. He had never thought he would face another defeat since he and Dante came back from the human world and he refused to be defeated by something like this. 

“You think you can defeat me, the son of Sparda?!” he hissed as he slowly unsheathed Yamato before pausing and resheathed her.

“... No… if both my idiotic brother and my son, who I still can’t believe is my son, can defeat you with just their strength, I can do!”

Vergil gently put Yamato down and stretched himself slightly and his already healed, but still sore fingers and glared back at his greatest enemy yet.

“I will open you!” he yelled as he grabbed the peanut butter jar with his right and twisted it as hard as he could.

He had been going at it for hours now, but this enemy, this so-called peanut butter in a jar just got to be a demon. How can one jar be so goddamn hard to open? Vergil gritted his teeth together, pressing the jar close to him as he twisted.

Not a budge.

Not even a little budge.

Vergil wanted to scream and yell which he did. Many, many times, he never been gladder that Dante and Nero wasn’t here. 

His hand was starting to be bleed again and he hissed and threw the jar on the floor, hoping that would break it open. It didn’t, but Dante probably need to fix the kitchen floor soon.

“No… I am not finished yet… no way.” He reached down and picked up the jar and switched up a bit. Now he was holding the jar with his bloody left hand and twisting with his right hand.

He twisted as hard as he could. He could feel himself getting light headed, the world seemed to be getting hotter and spinning around him. Then he felt it and heard it.

The popping of the sealed lid and the feeling of it twisting slightly in his hand. 

Vergil’s heart skipped a beat. He held his breath for a moment as he twisted more slowly. The lid was moving it was moving! 

He removed the lid and put it down on the table and stared down at the creamy peanut butter inside the content.

“Hah… see… you can’t defeat me, the son of Sparda…” 

His voice shook a bit and he wanted to cry. 

“I did it… I defeated it…” He reached out and ripped a piece of paper towel and cleaned the bloody mess on the table and the blood on his hands and on the lid.

He can finally have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. His newest obsession since he returned from Hell.

He toasted some sandwich bread and spread some peanut butter on it. Then he reached for the strawberry jelly and twisted it. He paused when it didn’t open immediately. He pressed his lips together and held the jar with one hand and twisted it with the other.

A sigh of relief left him when it opened. Thank Sparda, he refused to go through that again.

He cleaned the peanut butter covered knife with a paper towel to use it again for the jelly. 

He spread the jelly on and then put the other sandwich bread on top. He went to pour himself some orange juice and came back and set it next to his plate that have his sandwich on it. He stared at it for a while. 

He could feel his eyes getting watery and he tilted his head up to stop the water from falling out.

He can finally rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Behind the scene of Vergil struggling:
> 
> N: Should... I go in and tell him that there's already an open jar of peanut butter?  
> D: We can't, the prompt said no human intrusions, but it's kinda funny to see your father struggling, don't you think?  
> N: ...
> 
> Anyways back to writing my dv!


End file.
